There is a big topic that doesn’t get the air time it deserves, and in some cases it is a really big topic. Body shape.
Ok, it is maybe one of the most delicate subjects that I will discuss, after all, never ask someone their weight or age. But is is a necessary thing that needs to be brought out into the open.
Most of the dating apps attempt to fulfill the needs of guys and, to a lesser extent girl, to get an idea of what their prospective partner looks like by asking two key questions: Body shape and Partners body shape.
Now, I am guessing this is where we have a real disconnect.
Guys all think that they are still the same shape and size they were when they were 20. When I was 20 I could go out, drink what I wanted, eat what I wanted, exercise, not exercise and my weight never changed. I am no longer able to do this, in fact should I look at a cake in the window of the Hummingbird bakery I seem to put on 2 kg. Because of this the majority of men, whether they look like Winston Churchill, Shirley Crabtree or John Goodman still say they are either Athletic or at a push, average.
Athletic for a guy means that they watch sport, they walk to the pub, they don’t need a mobility scooter to go to Tesco. Now I am guessing women have a different view. A woman would see a man has selected Athletic and think Daniel Craig, Gerard Butler or maybe even Tom Daley. Ladies, you are going to be sorely disappointed.
For the record the correct male to female translation should be as followes:
Slim:………………………….Skinny, no body fat, think Sid Little or the guy from the mr muscle adverts
Athletic:……………………Fat, Large belly, not at all athletic. Think Matt Le Blanc now (NOT in friends)
Average:…………………..Fat. Larger belly. Average for 40 year old salesmen driving mondeo’s around the country.
Curvy:………………………Very Fat. Henry the VIII fat. Hasn’t seen his own penis in at least 10 years
A few extra pounds:…Never used. No man ever had a few extra pounds
Large:………………………..Morbidly obese. Needs fireman to get out the house.
Heavyset: ………………..Person who recently ate the whole of China
Now the opposite is true for the choice made by the women on these apps. Women on the whole are more accurate but often impacted by society stereotyping. If they are toned and sporty (think paula radcliffe) she would put slim, Sporty but with some more shape, athletic, natural curves then we are looking at curvy. But this is where the problems start.
If a woman puts curvy a guy would think..curvy, that means fat. Large goes further, as guy would think she is like Rosanne Barr. Again, lets add a translation
Term Woman Is Man Thinks
Slim Slim Megan Fox
Athletic Athletic Megan Fox
Average Slim or Large Megan Fox
Curvy Curvy or Large Megan Fox or Dawn French
A few extra pounds Large or Very Large Bubbles from Little Britan
Heavyset Very Large A hippo, eating ice-cream
So, there you go. What’s your body type ?
In future posts I will discuss the misalignment of professions, salary, Height, and politics – all of which are basically completely made up.
just4coffee 